Thursday, December 31, 2015

THE YEAR THAT WAS 2015

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on,
with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." - Hal Borland
Credit: @gracecharity
If I had to sum up the last year with a phrase, this would be it. 

2015 had been the toughest year of my life, both in my personal and work life. I fell to my lowest point and woke up every day with a dark cloud hovering me. Everything appeared bleak. There were days where I had to muster all my strength to get out of my bed and stepped out of the house. 

I reached a point where I felt inadequate, in so many ways. I believed I was never good enough for anyone, or anything. Self-esteem and confidence completely destroyed by people whom I once trusted. I lost interest in the stuff that I once loved. 

There were occasions where I thought of taking the easy way out. That was how low I had fell. For someone who had always been so cheerful, happy-go-lucky, all the negative emotions and thoughts I was feeling then suffocated me. So much that I had difficulty breathing. 

I'm incredibly thankful for the angels in my life; my family, close friends and buddies. They were by my side through it all, walking with me, encouraging and supporting me. Because of them, I managed to make it through the stumbles and falls. 

It hadn't been easy, but I believe everything happens for a reason. There is a reason for every season in our lives. It's tough to keep the faith when times are hard and bleak, when everything seems insurmountable but because of my angels, through baby steps, I managed to find that strand of faith and positivity. The road to rebuilding my self-esteem and confidence is not going to be easy but I have faith that I will be able to do it. To be who I was before. 

Despite all that happened, I'm thankful and grateful for the tough times, the lessons learnt and all the memories (both good and bad). They gave me a chance to rediscover myself, to learn, mature and grow. 

Sometimes the best thing that you can do is not to think.
Not wonder, not imagine, not obsess.
Just breath.
And have faith that everything will work out for the best. 

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